i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He felt like a one man threesome
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
