you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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