just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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