I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
