Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
