i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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