i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
