I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
