Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
