so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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