I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
