I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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