If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
