She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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