8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
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