I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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