tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
