please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
