So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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