If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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