Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
