My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
its liver damage thursday
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
