youre lurking in front of me
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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