Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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