My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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