People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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