How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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