is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
