I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
