6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
