I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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