Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
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