they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize