so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
