My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
