i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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