I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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