idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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