I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize