apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
