just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
