I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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