And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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