is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
