i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Small penises have feelings too.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
