This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize
