I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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