Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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