Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
