you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
