Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
