It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
