you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
