AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
