I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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