I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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