My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
