Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize